Twelve years ago I participated in a Get Clarity™ retreat as a client. Didn’t know it at the time but I was saving my marriage to Cathy before I even asked her.
Cathy and I fell in love very quickly and knew we wanted to be together. Then Cathy said, “I have a rule. If we are going to be together, you have to take my retreat.” As I pondered this interesting sales technique, she explained, “I don’t want anyone in my inner circle that isn’t consciously responsible and accountable for managing his own thoughts and behaviors.”
I went along because I’m no dummy and I loved her. Plus, I wanted to learn what she knew and had promised myself to do this relationship differently than others in my past.
What I learned and have lovingly practiced for the past twelve years:
- I’m responsible for my own lights-on energy and personal happiness.
- I’m responsible for maintaining space for Cathy’s energy and happiness to develop.
- I’m responsible for being kind rather than having to be right.
- I’m responsible for appreciating her talents rather than being jealous of them.
- I’m responsible for being grateful for what we have together, rather than wanting everything to be exactly my way.
- I’m responsible for belonging fully to our partnership rather than isolating myself.
- I’m responsible for co-creating our life in a way that serves each of us individually as well as our togetherness.
- I’m responsible for appreciating everything in our partnership rather than blaming her for anything that hasn’t yet appeared.
- I’m responsible for monitoring and sustaining my own thoughts, actions and behaviors so they support the success of us together—every day.
- I’m responsible for being playful and curious in our relationship rather than doubting and romanticizing about something different.
- I’m responsible for supporting the synergy of our mutual gifts rather than giving in to my ego needs of the moment.
- I’m responsible for respecting our differences rather than looking at them from a place of inequality.
That’s how one smart yes turned into twelve years and counting of being a good partner to another good partner.
What do you need to say yes to in order to participate in your own powerful partnership? Clarity can help your partnership truly be a co-creative adventure—take a Powerful Partner Retreat.
Consciously saving my life and marriage every day,
Gary
